i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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