worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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