Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
