Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize