please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize