Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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