dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
