I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
