But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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