She is in my trunk
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
