i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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