this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
