Moan for me like Helen Keller
he thought i was a dude.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
