Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
