My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
