This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize