I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
