sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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