i permit you to call me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
