i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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