If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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