Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
