just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
