So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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