: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
