i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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