I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize