Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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