apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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