Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
