bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize