I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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