This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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