She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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