I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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