I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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