Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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