you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
