playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize