So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
