I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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