Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
