Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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