I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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