they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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