dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize