Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
