I didn't shave. On purpose
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
