they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
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