My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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