there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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