weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
where does the pee come out of this thing
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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