curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
