there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
