Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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