i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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