very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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