Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
