Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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