Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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