moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
