Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize