I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize