i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
