I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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