I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
