I accidentally had phone sex last night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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