that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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