glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize