i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
