Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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