just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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