You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
