I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The beer is more important than you right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Randomize
