Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
