look no pants
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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