it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize