Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
