So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
